May 2013
2 posts
April 2013
11 posts
dreamers.
today is my birthday. i am 22 years old. it feels odd to be here.
i met up with marijo and we collected notebooks from marypaz and victor. i just finished reading them. they are beautiful. this is what i came back for. these kids. how could i ever forget those two beautiful kids? and they are still just as beautiful. and the way they trust me! i love them so much and in a way i’ve never...
staying golden.
there is this nobility about the boys in 6B. they seem uneffected and uninterested in girls. and if put to the test, almost all of them would stand up for what’s right. they don’t always do what’s right, which sounds contradictory, but it’s not. even though some of them tease the other kids, if someone truly hurt that kid, they would do the right thing.
i wonder where...
Jaramillo, Mexico
how can they say so much about the craziness just across the border and not expect me to be interested in what’s really over there?
there’s no hot water in the house, so irma warmed some water on the stove and gave it to me in a bucket. if you ever want to get to know your body, wash it. with our hot showers, we just sit there passively and let water fall on us. actually putting the...
“Dialogue cannot exist, however, in the absence of a profound love for the world...”
– Paolo Friere; Pedagogy of the Oppressed
“The teacher is no longer merely the-one-who-teaches, but the one who is himself...”
– Paolo Freire; Pedagogy of the Oppressed
“To achieve this praxis, however, it is necessary to trust in the oppressed and...”
– Paolo Freire; Pedagogy of the Oppressed
“Pedagogy which begins with the egoistic interests of the oppressors and makes...”
– Paolo Freire; Pedagogy of the Oppressed
“On the contrary the more radical the person is, the more fully he or she enters...”
– Paolo Freire; Pedagogy of the Oppressed.
nirvikalpa:
walk up in the club like “end rape culture, unlearn sexism, question gender, fight back”
I Think I Loved the Wrong Person.
I think I loved the wrong person.
We had been friends in middle school and on and off throughout high school. I guess our relationship was always on and off like that. We talked on the phone a lot. About everything. We had fun. I was fun then. I trusted him. I don’t trust a lot of men; I doubt that many girls do. I was twelve when we first spoke.
Then I went away for college. We continued the...
i trusted you. past tense. i don’t trust you anymore and you’ve given me no reason to. he was right, i am gonna have to lose a friend. but i don’t think i want you as a friend anymore anyway.
if someone had told me then that he’d be a better man than you, that he would value my trust more and not take advantage of that, i would’ve never believed them.
funny how...
March 2013
21 posts
“kiss me like you miss me, fuck me like you hate me, and when you’re fuckin someone else just fuck her like she ain’t me.”
we argue in circles about the same thing. and i just wonder why you want to see me, you want to touch me again, hold me again, feel me in your arms, you want to talk to me, but you don’t want me. it doesn’t make any sense.
and i keep...
setfabulazerstomaximumcaptain:
If you wanna be my lover, you gotta be ready to tackle all forms of institutionalized oppression and topple the bastions of ignorance and bigotry that permeate all aspects of our lives, ya gotta get with my friendss!
i’m just sayin.
every time i leave my house, i wonder if we’ll see each other. if he’ll walk into the coffee shop, see me sitting and reading and turn around to walk right back out. better yet, if he’ll walk in with a girl and then i’ll finally know what a real ass-hole he is. i wonder if we’ll see each other across a parking lot. if he’ll start to come over and i’ll...
i’ve got henna on my hand. i’m copying frida kahlo’s words for the 5th time. i’ve got a whole journal of life. i spend everyday researching for my next adventure. i am truly a different person now. so, i cried a few tears. and then i pushed him back out of my heart. again.
“It only hurt me until I decided to stop letting it hurt me.”
– Glenda McDannell
bonesofbirch:
you are allowed to terminate toxic relationships
you are allowed to walk away from people who hurt you
you are allowed to be angry and selfish and unforgiving
you don’t owe anyone an explanation for taking care of yourself
“You don’t want to let go, but don’t want to be hurt, either....”
– Junot Diaz
“I spend so much time analyzing my relationships that I never really enjoy them.”
– Me to Iman Barre.
“It’s so broken that it can’t be fixed.”
– Laura Hidalgo.
one word that excites me: free.
“honestly, i don’t really wanna be anything anymore.” the words set me free. he set me free.
he didn’t use his flirty voice or try to be nice. he even sounded a little mad. i don’t know what changed his mind. my mean texts or what. part of me doesn’t care. every time i repeat the words, i just think “phew” and a sigh of relief comes over me.
it...
i'm gonna overcome this paper heart and win this...
i told myself many times in these last seven months that i was gonna love myself more than i loved you. just this time. just this once. and if i would allow myself to just do that, i could really move on.
i don’t pray much anymore. but there’s always a moment after prayer at the mosque when you can take your time to pray alone. to talk to allah. and i would say two things: thank you...
so, this is what i’ll do. when i think about you, i’ll think about him. when i want you, i’ll want him. when i want to talk to you, i’ll talk to him.
that’s what you’re doing with her, isn’t it? this is how hearts get broken.
“You didn’t love her. You just didn’t want to be alone. Or maybe, maybe she was...”
– Callie Torres, ‘The Heart of the Matter’ (via rabbrakha)
“and if he can’t learn to love you, you should leave him. ‘cause sister, you don’t need him.” -tupac.
who should i believe, tupac or baby boy? DEFINITELY tupac.
keepin’ my head up.
“i know i shouldn’t be texting you. i just want you to know that i don’t really know if it’s over. i always think it is and then we come back together and idk what that means. for me right now, it’s prob healthier to try to hate you than to continue loving you when that’s not what you want. idk what we’ll be in the future. we could finally make it work...
“She was the kind of girlfriend God gives you young, so you’ll know loss for the...”
– Junot Diaz (via natashakills)
“Don’t let him ruin one more night of your life.”
– Nicole Idiart
social media is fucking with my life.
relationships both current and past will not die with this shit around. but it will be the death of me.
February 2013
18 posts
'cause in the dark, you can't see shiny cars....
so, i guess i did it. i stood my ground, said goodbye, said “yes, i want you to leave me alone.”-lied for my own good. i used to hurt and burn and cry and fight for him to realize my worth; to love me in a way i deserve to be loved. but after 3 years, i should know by now that it’s never gonna happen. so, instead of lying to myself, of putting my heart on my sleeve and begging...
when i told la amiga that he had come back, she was the only one who told me that maybe this time was different. maybe he needed space and realized he finally wanted me. maybe it was time. for a moment i believed her. sometimes i still desperately want to believe her.
but the difference between me and her is exactly that-i’m not her. she is beautiful. sometimes, i don’t think...
yo: what would you think if i got back with isaac?
el amigo: i'd think you were a dumb bitch.
my head: don't be a dumb bitch now.
ode to my broken heart.
you took me back in, whispered beautiful words in my ears (or imed them-today it’s all the same). you didn’t allude to a perfect future or reference our broken past.
and i found myself dreaming again, of the day you would come around. a day i would truly hold you, keep you, envelop you whole. i promise i could build mountains out of my trust for you. and i swear i could drown you in...
I don’t think he would ever have let me envelop him whole, even if he had loved me.
the frumpy friend. it’s an incurable disease.
i'm going back to the start.
official last day in spain. i went to the cathedral and alcazar today. the cathedral was a cathedral and the alcazar was beautiful. i had a moment sitting in the gardens at the alcazar today when I thought, “and he wants me to come back to him?” and I laughed to myself a little. it’s not that babyboy is unworthy because he’s mediocre or still in Yucaipa or hasn’t changed the world or...
All the reasons we can't be friends.
he said he was sorry. finally. realized my worth. finally. recognized i will always hold a place in his heart. finally. wants me back in his life. finally. said it feels weird without me. finally. wants to be friends again. oh no.
no. you don’t get to express a feeling or two and we’re back where we were when i left 7 months ago. no. you don’t get to come around and ask me to...
